And so I left the Presbyterian church. At this time the whole of my spiritual foundation had been shaken to the point where I could not even look at a church without feeling queasy. I refused to go to any services including Christmas services and Easter services. It was not that I didn't believe, I just could not stomach going into a church. This created one of the many rifts between my Mom and I. She didn't (and still doesn't) understand my need for space from the church.
It was years before I could even consider religion again and in that time I began to do research on other forms of spirituality, ones that could be practiced alone and where my interaction with the Divine was one on one. I dabbled in a variety of things with no real vested interest until my life got turned upside down when my Dad was diagnosed with cancer last January.
My dad is one of the most important people in my life and his diagnosis scared me. A LOT. The main way I was able to cope with this new world of doctors appointments, chemotherapy and the myriad of symptoms it causes was to dive into research. Yup, research. I guess the logic and reasoning aspect of my head was trying to quell the emotions running rampant in my heart. Research on my dad's type of cancer, it's causes, effects, lifestyle and environmental factors on our health, toxins in our food and personal care products, green health and beauty...the list goes on.
Through this research I came across a variety of amazing people who I have found to be incredibly inspiring. One of the major things that linked them together was their spirtituality, their belief in something more. Many of these incredible people I came across talked about the importance of spirituality in their lives and as a cornerstone to their health. They practiced meditation, art, worked with the healing energies of crystals, chakras and oracle/tarot cards. They took walks in nature and were able to connect to the world in a way that was beautiful. I saw their happiness, their peace and I knew that they had uncovered something wonderful. I felt myself being called to explore these avenues of spirituality in order to connect to with the Divine and it felt as if a lost piece of me was falling into place.
Well, I believe I have rambled enough for tonight. :-)
Namaste and Much Love.
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